


Amara Pie

by under_a_grey_cloud



Category: Supernatural
Genre: American Pie, Don McClean, Explicit Language, Other, Parody, Season 11, Song Parody, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6249115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_a_grey_cloud/pseuds/under_a_grey_cloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a parody of Don McLean's "American Pie".</p><p>It loosely covers the season 11 arc (before the break) but I was not able to reference every chapter or every event.</p><p>I tried very hard to match, verse for verse, the original ideas and rhymes in American Pie. Of course I didn't always succeed. I suppose the parody can be read anyhow, but if you don't know Don McClean's version, and if you care, I suggest you watch American Pie on youtube first. For those who are not as old as I, American Pie is about when Buddy Holly died tragically young in a helicopter crash. If you don't know who Buddy Holly is, Wikipedia!</p><p>WARNING: This contains one instance of the "F" word. Honestly, I only used it because it rhymed! The rest is a mixture of ribald, sad, scary, and silly.</p><p>SPOILER WARNING: The last verse mentions the future of S/N, always to be taken with a bit of salt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amara Pie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mordhena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/gifts).



A long, long time ago

God’s sister Amara made the dark and she smiled

When God found out boy was he annoyed

He made sure it was destroyed

Or so he thought; Amara really just toyed

With him biding her time and waiting for a while

 

God locked the dark with a mark delivered

To Lucifer but it found Dean how he shivered

It disappeared with a spell

That freed a darkness worse than Hell

 

Dean can’t remember who’s to blame

Why he’s drawn to Amara like a moth to a flame

He hates and loves her deep inside

She bears the mark that died.

 

[Chorus:]

So bye, bye, Amara; Dean prefers pie

Nothing will stop Dean and Sam from making you fry

When Castiel’s himself he’ll be one angry guy

There’s no way, Amara, that you won’t die

This’ll be the way that you die

 

[Verse 1]

Did you write the book of Light

And do you have faith in God’s mistaken smite

If Amara tells you so?

Now do you believe in Dean’s lust for Cas?

Will he ever get a piece of that angel’s ass?

And can you teach him how to turn a trick real fast?

 

Well, I know that Dean’s in love with him

'Cause I saw him jerk off in the angel’s gym

He came right on his shoes

Man, I dig those Winchester blues

 

No sheriff or rabies could stop Dean wanting to fuck

The living daylights from Amara but the dark still sucked

We knew that we were out of luck

The day babe Amara cried

 

[Chorus:]

We started singing bye, bye, Amara; Dean prefers pie

Nothing will stop Dean and Sam from making you fry

When Castiel’s himself he’ll be one angry guy

There’s no way, Amara, that you won’t die

this’ll be the way that you die

 

[Verse 2]

Now for eleven years we've been watching S/N

The virus took Jenna’s soul but it didn’t stop then

And Sam got scratched but he didn’t even frown

He cured himself with holy fire

Cas was still a hell dog scared of doing something dire

And angels tricked him man did he feel down

 

Oh, and while Crowley gave young Amara books to read

She ate demon souls like cows eat feed

Then reason was adjourned

All the demons were returned

 

And while Castiel tried to redeem

He killed Hannah with a hell hound scream

And we sang dirges, and watched the scene

As we began to die.

 

[Chorus:]

We were singing bye, bye, Amara; Dean prefers pie

Nothing will stop Dean and Sam from making you fry

When Castiel’s himself he’ll be one angry guy

There’s no way, Amara, that you won’t die

this’ll be the way that you die

 

[Verse 3]

Helter skelter in a dark Hell land

Rowena hid the Book of the Damned

Amara she devoured demons fast

Crowley ran out of demons for her repast,

Amara’d finished them up with a sucking blast,

With Crowley on the sidelines unnerved fast

 

Now when Dean smelled Amara’ sweet perfume

Everyone said get a room

Rowena restored Cas

Oh man that witch is fast

 

'Cause Amara well she took the field

Kept eating demons who tried not to yield

Do you recall what was revealed

The day the lighntess died?

 

[Chorus:]

We started singing bye, bye, Amara; Dean prefers pie

Nothing will stop Dean and Sam from making you fry

Now that Castiel’s himself his is one angry guy

There’s no way, Amara, that you won’t die

This’ll be the way that you die

 

[Verse 4]

Oh, Sam and Dean they were in one place

In the Impala lost in darkened space

With no time left to recover face,

Sam heard visions from God on high

But they turn out to be from another guy

'Cause Lucifer is smart and hot and sly

 

Oh, and people were getting killed by a mask

A jester mascot tried to kill the quarterback

No being stuck in Hell

Could break Amara’s spell

 

Dean swore to Sam he’d kill Amara on sight

He hated her and he hated her blight

But when he was near her all he felt was delight

He couldn’t make Amara die

 

[Chorus:]

He was singing bye, bye, Amara’s better than pie

When I’m close to her I’m just a horny guy

I forget about hunting, her mark makes me high

Then poof I’m getting old I wish that I’d die

My back is acting up I want to die

 

[Outro]

Where were the wresters’ black and blues?

A demon turned out to be bad news

But Lawless just let Dean walk away

Dean sent Sam down to the sacred store

Where he’d stolen whisky years before

But his imaginary friend said this time you’ll have to pay

 

Sam said God was saying go to the Cage

The thought filled Dean with brotherly rage

Amara preached in a park

She killed everyone with a spark

 

And the angel I admire most

Tried to decipher Lucifer’s boast

And finally said yes I’ll be your host

He thought Amara’d die

 

[Chorus:]

And he was singing I could care less about the Hand of God

I let Crowley think he could control the Rod

And I let Crowley live cause he was such a nice guy

While we wait and wonder if S/N will die

Mid-season break is getting old and dry

 

[Chorus:]

We were singing bye, bye, Miss Amara Pie

Have the writers and producers finally turned up dry

No! Jared says that season twelve is signed

Dean will be back drinking whisky with pie

And we know Amara will die


End file.
